1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.
6. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
7. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
8. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.
9. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
10. Testicle, n. A humorous question on an exam.
11. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
12. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
13. Oyster, n. A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15. Circumvent, n. An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.