Changing environment, learning new language and new culture,being a wife and a mother, living far away from families and friends, I have come to share my views, thoughts, feelings, ideas on so many things that I cherish.

August 16, 2012

Alternate meanings for common words - On the Lighter Side of Life

1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.


2. Flabbergasted, adj.
Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.

3. Abdicate, v.
To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade, v.
To attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Negligent, adj.
Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.

6. Lymph, v.
To walk with a lisp.

7. Gargoyle, n.
Olive-flavored mouthwash.

8. Flatulence, n.
Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a steamroller.

9. Balderdash, n.
A rapidly receding hairline.

10. Testicle, n.
A humorous question on an exam.

11. Rectitude, n.
The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

12. Pokemon, n.
A Rastafarian proctologist.

13. Oyster, n.
A person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

14. Frisbeetarianism, n. The belief that, after death, the soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

15. Circumvent, n.
An opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

3 comments:

Kelly HTandT said...

I've seen this somewhere before, it never fails to make me laugh, I love it! Thanks for sharing, I needed that giggle x

Carole said...

So funny! do you mind if I steal it and use it in a few months on my blog?
Cheers

Nekky said...

I wouldn't mind at all Carole, you are free to use it any time you want.

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